Wings Over the Pyre - January 25th, 2006

10:20 pm - Gateway of the North

Canada, home of the brave Peace Arch Defenders:

Blaine, Wash. - American authorities closed the border crossing to British Columbia on Tuesday after an exchange of gunfire on the U.S. side between border guards, police and two murder suspects from California who were eventually apprehended.

The two men were pursued by American police in a high-speed chase along Interstate 5 in Washington state before the men ran the U.S. border crossing in an attempt to get into Canada.

"They are very dangerous suspects," said Bill Elfo, sheriff of Whatcom County.

An unspecified number of Canadian border agents, who are unarmed, left their posts during the incident because they were concerned about their safety. Managers took over and border security was not compromised, said Paula Shore, a spokeswoman for the Canada Border Services Agency.

Ms. Shore refused to say Tuesday night how many Canadian border agents left their posts because of the perceived danger. She said less than four of the more than 20 British Columbia border crossings were involved.

"A few officers exercised their right to refuse to work because of what they perceived as imminent danger," Ms. Shore said in a telephone interview. Under the labour code, "any worker has the right to refuse to work if they feel they are in imminent danger."

Now, I've come through Peace Arch in a car, both ways, crossing the border. I've seen the border guards there, and heard their annoyingly whiny, laconic voices as they ask stupid questions about what kind of crazed American contraband I'm keeping in the trunk, or if I've taken up killing Vancouverite prostitutes and chopping them fine to smuggle to my deviant friends in the car's gas tank. I've developed a certain disaffinity for customs officers in all their myriad forms and formats, and the Peace Arch folk aren't exactly high on my feeding chain. (Though nowhere near as low as Toronto's airport customs folk. Who could be?)

But who knew they were such tremendous pussies?

I mean, c'mon ... I realize being a border crossing guard on the Northern Side(tm) isn't exactly as high risk as making pasta in my kitchen, but they do realize that they're the front line between good Canadian hocky fans and we depraved American scum the Liberal government spent 12 years pumping the CBC to remind everyone possess evil guns and foul interests in porn, right? I realize the Conservatives now have a minority government, so things may have radically changed, but I don't expect quite that level of transition.

I seem to have a strange ability to imagine them leaping like crazy behind the tiny guard shacks and concrete bulwarks, peering over like Kilroy, while the guys from the American side trot over and loft a brow, going down in a casual crouch with their Nines extended and a drawled "Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker."

Mind you, that didn't happen, either. But the Gob and Wail didn't mention the Americans were cowering like wangs-in-icewater, and given a chance to get a good slam in on 'Murricans, I can't imagine they'd let it get away.

The men ran the U.S. customs station at the Peace Arch crossing, but police continued their pursuit.

Their vehicle veered across Peace Arch Park and the men were driving north in the southbound lane of I-5. They were eventually stopped by a sheriff deputy who rammed their car with his vehicle.

When the murder suspects tried to flee, shots were exchanged between them and U.S. law enforcement authorities.

One of the men was shot and taken to hospital for treatment. The other was in federal custody.

"Apparently there was a collision involved and the suspects exited the vehicle," said Trooper Bob Wilson of the Washington State Patrol. "I don't know who shot first."

The extent of the wounded man's injuries was not known. No law enforcement officers were injured, said Sheriff Elfo.

When the car came across the U.S. side of the border, Sheriff Elfo said two uniformed Homeland Security officers were almost struck by the vehicle. When it did come to a stop, it was about a metre from the line designating the Canadian border, he said.

The thought of two guys in a car zipping across Peace Arch Park makes me giggle like a schoolboy, frankly. I imagined myself doing it when we drove through the annoyingly long line through the checkpoints, just hauling off-road and zipping through the grassy sward.

Ah, dreams. Pity I missed it.

Current Mood: amused

10:29 pm - Watch the Geeks Flee

Ah, yes, E3 is gaining IQ points like snow accumulates in Texas:

The video game industry's 2006 E3 Expo trade show in Los Angeles is getting a make-over -- banned are the swarms of sexy, semi-clad "booth babes" that in years past took the unveiling of new games and technology to titillating new levels.

Rules prohibiting the use of scantily clad young women to peddle video games are nothing new, but the handbook for this year's show in May outlines tough new penalties, including a $5,000 fine on the spot for the booth owner if the "booth babe" is semi-clad.

Right. So, the folks in Los Angeles, home of 80% of the sleazy porn production houses in the US and, worse, Hollywood, feels that scantily-clad women are inappropriate adjuncts to the advertising of the latest digital epic of destruction and chaos. Hades forfend that geek-boys and -girls see some bulging breast-line standing in front of an HD plasma popping the latest eye-watering graphics with a slow-motion sniper-round burrowing through some sad-sack's brain-pan. Might be inappropriate.

I don't want to seem like a hypocrite here. We all know I'm a great aficionado of sex and violence. More of both, please! What comes off looking hypocritical is the E3 show directorship, and in the worst kind of way: transparently.

Besides, if the companies producing a booth at E3 actually have to compete on the basis of their gameplay and not the tired monotone of the under-employed model standing with a second-rate knock-off of a plastic railgun showing a little mammary and thigh, who'll actually end up having folks go by the booth at all? The rest we can get in the comfort of our own homes from the websites of every company on Earth.

With popcorn. And slightly fewer women trying poorly to seem nice.

Current Mood: grumpy