Wings Over the Pyre - February 16th, 2005

03:47 am - Friends, So Many ... Hey, is That A Disease?

Technorati Tags: meme, friends, collage

Since everyone else was doing it (along with jumping off cliffs and generally being bizarre) ...

( The Montage )

Current Mood: complacent

05:37 pm - More Things I really, Really, Need to Own

Technorati Tags: gifts, trucks, clothes, threats, toys, ozone

Man, the world has aggressively been producing things I need. Take for example:

Bad Boy truck dwarfs the Hummer

JASPER, Texas (AP) — For some drivers, even a Hummer may not be enough. The Bad Boy Heavy Muscle Truck, a dressed-up military vehicle more than twice as heavy, is being billed as bigger, badder and more bodacious.

"It's the rugged Bubba," said Daniel Ayres, president and CEO of Homeland Defense Vehicles and its division Bad Boy Trucks.

The company aims to market the machine to civilians with disposable cash and a hankering for more protection from the outside world. A $379,000 version made its public debut January at the Dallas Safari Club convention.

For a base price of $225,000 — nearly twice the Hummer H1 wagon's base price of $117,508 — consumers can get a basic version of the 10-foot-tall Bad Boy that can drive through five feet of water, climb a 60-degree grade, tow six tons and keep rolling even with a quarter-size hole in the tire's sidewall.

OK, a heavy-duty military truck that makes the original HUMMV look kind of pussy? Where do I sign up? Admittedly, the price-tag is kind of steep, but my beloved readers can certainly put together a really nice pool of funds to buy one of these for my birthday. I'm all over it.

Of course, then there's this, which I'm more likely to buy for myself:

Wearable Warnings: snap crackle pop, back off!

Moral philosophers have historically abhored the easy-way-out concept of desiring to be a being of lesser cognizance than that of humans, with their knowledge of mortality and free-will. But in all reality, there is at least one proper bonus to being without such bothersome social indoctrinations and responsibilities: gestures and bodily reactions to unpleasant situations (the puffer fish inflates, the rattlesnake shakes its tail, etc.). Enter Wearable Warnings, Kind of like a punk looking version of the No Contact Jacket, or the complete apotheosis of the HugJacket: when the fur-striped coat is charged, its hair begins to stand on end; when an aggressor comes into its electrostatic field, they’ll feel their hair start to stand on end too, kind of like a Van de Graaff generator; closer still, and the fur will begin to crackle with electricity; touch the fur, and you get 100,000 volts. Please be sure to switch it off in the subway though, okay?

Oh, I so entirely need one of these. I mean, the edgy fringe that flares outward in a warning display is damn cool, but the charged heavy ozone smell and discharge if someone gets too close? Its perfect. Absolutely perfect for misanthropes with the ultimate goal of eradicating humanity from the face of this foul mud-ball.

Imagine the social advantages, too. No more "mixed messages" when you want someone to back off. They get a threat display.

Something about this just appeals to me at a visceral, primal level.

Current Mood: impressed